World Cup Hell: All this furore over who will lift the Easter Egg statuette

World Cup opinion
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That’s it, don’t bother looking at television or social media because the World Cup has taken over.

I’ve never seen the appeal of football so have only ever watched one match all the way through. That was when England won the World Cup, which now isn’t even a cup, but a statuette of some people holding up an Easter Egg.

True, in 1966 my family where groaning at football every night until we realised England might win, but I can’t see that happening this time.

Back then Alf Ramsey had it easy because English teams actually employed English players, so he had plenty to choose from.

It also seems that if a commentator today said of England “They think it’s all over — well, it is now” it would not be in the final 30 seconds of the tournament, but around the quarter-finals, if lucky.

But even if England were to get chucked out in the first 30 seconds, it won’t stop the coverage. It will still mean every evening Twitter will look like it does on Saturday afternoons with boring wall-to-wall tweets about the fortunes of football teams.

Why does it have to be so all consuming? At least with the Olympics the sheer variety can justify vast coverage, but with football all that changes is the colour of their shirts.

Yet, on top of matches, every news bulletin, every advertising break and half the internet will mention it.

We’ve already had weeks of documentaries about Brazil when the only mention it usually gets is in nature programmes for its capybara.

Even the Family Planning Assocation got in on the act with a press release urging fans to take condoms to Brazil.

Well, at least they can blow them up and throw them on the pitch when England lose.

Now read Derek Bish’s World Cup Heaven