CAMILLE BERRIMAN: At 35, I hear I’m going a little bit deaf

A personal view
A personal view
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The advancing years catch up with us all in the end. Mostly I embrace getting older, even if it does bring a few wrinkles and the occasional grey hair (can anyone explain why I have one white eyebrow hair?), but I am starting to notice a couple of more unwelcome physical changes.

Gone are the days I could party until dawn and work the next day (actually, they evaporated circa 1996 – that halcyon summer when I was carefree for about three weeks until the reality of dreading my A-level results and being a grown-up set in), but I’m now starting to go to bed earlier and even – shock horror – changing into my pyjamas as soon as I get home from work.

More worrying is the realisation my hearing might be going. Yes, at 35 I agree I’m young to be displaying such a symptom of old age, but alas I fear it is true.

Due to my husband’s job – working on Tornado fighter jets – his hearing is already a bit iffy. Despite wearing ear defenders, nearly a decade of working in close proximity to those noisy beasts is taking its toll. Add to this my suspected early deafness and communication can be a problem. Currently he is working abroad so we’ve been talking via Skype voice calls. Now I’m not sure if this is as a result of our dodgy eardrums or bad internet connection, but conversations generally go along these lines:

Me: “Hello, how are you?”

Hubby: “Hello” Long pause.

Me: “How’s wo...”

Hubby: “I’m okay”

Me: “What?”

Hubby: “I’m okay”

Me: “Oh, right. How’s wo...?”

Hubby: Muffled noises

Me: “What was that?” Long pause.

Hubby: “Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?”

Me: “Yes! I can hear you. How’s work?”

Hubby: Muffled noises

Me: “Sorry, I didn’t get that. Can you repeat it?”

Line goes dead.

More evidence of my poor hearing came on Friday, when I was at the leaving do of many wonderful ex-colleagues. One said to me: “I’ve just ordered chocolate fudge cake.”

My response? “Oh my goodness, you legend. You’ve ordered a jug of vodka!”
Poor hearing, or alcohol on the brain? You tell me.