Some of you may know about spoofs of what are termed “modern day adult problems”.
For Father’s Day I was given a copy of the Ladybird Book of The Shed.
My goodness, certainly a modern day dilemma for me - how did the publishers know this much about me?
I tried hard to not associate with each scenario or character portrayed in the book but they have clearly been studying me very closely.
I come from a long line of shed owners.
Both my fathers (genetic and in-law) were archetypal shed-men .
Everything was held in good order.
Nails and screws were sorted and stored in tobacco tins.
Vaping will never provide such useful storage vessels as Old Holborn Blended Virginia tobacco tins – small, durable, stackable.
Tools were lovingly placed on shelves ready for use.
Anyway, back to “The Shed”.
This book arrived just at the point where my guilt complex about how inactive I have been was at an all-time high.
A recent letter from the local allotment association hit me right where it hurt – a reprimand for poor plot maintenance (yes, folks – there’s a shed down there, too).
My son’s shed (his rite of passage, that one) as well as the two I have at home need weatherproofing although the dog’s shed (actually a run but to all intents it’s a shed with a big mesh window) was re-roofed and varnished by yours truly last year.
So, there is pressure building to sort the rest of my shed empire.
At the same time, I need a clear out.
I am no longer the DIYer of earlier years and I have been a poor role model to my offspring compared to what I was blessed with.
So, it’s time to accept the inevitable and clear out some of the redundant tools and associated gubbins.
Some can be traded but suspect that the rest will end up at the local recycling facility as scrap like my Dad’s lethal circular saw. Having achieved the feat of physical shed cleansing, I will also be able to let go emotionally, which will allow me to move to the next challenge. The loft!
Help, I need a drink!
-- Peter Gudde is environment for St Edmundsbury and Forest Heath councils