My hilarious, beautiful, remarkable, indescribable son is very nearly 10 months old. This places him firmly into clothes designed for nine to 12 month olds which has provided my wife and I with a plethora of new problems, writes Ben Keenan.
Gone are those wonderful days when I could lay the boy down as gently as a Faberge egg on an auctioneer’s table and dress him in something that zipped up from his foot to his neck in a relaxed and calm environment. Nowadays, we have to negotiate socks, shoes, jackets, jumpers, hats and scarfs and a boy with super-strength.
Those wonderful people who design baby clothes certainly know how to make an aesthetically pleasing ensemble but the main problem at the moment is that hardly anything fits him apart from an incredibly thick fisherman’s jersey and a baby grow that is so long it looks like Tom is wearing a dress. I’ve noticed a bit of sadness creeping up on me too thanks to the fact there is very little opportunity for a nine-and-a-bit-month old to look like a baby any longer. Tom and his mum came to visit me at work the other day and Tom looked like he’d just fallen off the runway of a designer baby catwalk show, his scrumptious babyness having been replaced by boot-cut jeans, a polo-shirt and a jacket that I’m sure I saw Don Draper wearing on a recent episode of Mad Men. Style changes faster than the weather but at what cost. My baby is a now a man-boy and has a better-looking wardrobe than I do.
Is it time for me to take another stand and dress Tom in beautiful soft blue onesies while all around him the other nine-and-a-bit-month olds are sporting neckerchiefs and Harris tweeds? No matter where I go to buy clothes for the boy I still make a beeline for the baby clothes that stir my emotions like maple syrup while in my heart I am all too aware that sadly, those days are almost over.