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Poetry please! February 22

This week’s poem comes from Graham Allum - it’s called Lines for King Edmund, Martyr and the Rightful Patron Saint of England.........Inna Dub Stylie

In 869 the Vikings came

And come on with a beef.

Ready for a rumble

And armed up to the teeth.

“We gonna smack you Saxons.”

The Vikings shout and sing.

“We gonna burn your houses down

And jack your Saxon bling.”

But King Ed

Stand up

And said:

“No.”

“We are the Saxon Massive

What you Vikings doin’ here?

All our furniture is Saxon

We ain’t buyin’ no IKEA.

We don’t eat Danish bacon

We like British pork

So feed it to your Viking bruvs

Up there in bleeding Yor....vik

It makes us sick.

So be quick.

And go!

Innit tho”

Then them Vikings start a mashup

And Edmund he went down.

And all the Anglo possie

End up groanin’ on the ground.

And they shot him full of arrers

Because he showed them guts.

They made a quiver of his liver

And turned his butt into the Butts.

And Ed

He was dead

It took ‘em days to find his head.

A wolf was guarding it tho.

That wolf was surely tempted

To snack his ears an’ ting

If they’d left it any longer

He’d have been The Burger King.

But that Turkish geezer George

An English bloke he ain’t.

So kick him and his dragon out

And make Ed our patron saint.

Yo! Biggin’ up Edmund!

Email your poetry to news@buryfreepress.co.uk or send it to: The Editor, Bury Free Press, King’s Road, Bury St Edmunds IP33 3ET

Poetry group Poetry Aloud meets at The Attic, Benson Blakes, St John’s Street, Bury St Edmund, at 7.30pm on the last Tuesday of each month, except December. They are open to all, and entry is £2. Further details from 01284 701947.

 

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